and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
