i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
