Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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