Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
