You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
