If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
