I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
