franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize