I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm both gender and math confused
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
