Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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