Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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