Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
