I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
