At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize