I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
