Someone shit on the floor
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
only you would photoshop your dick
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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