I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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