So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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