bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
