you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize