I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize