im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
