she woke up with a sticky ear
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
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