some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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