Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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