He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
