Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
