he wants to bone in the snuggie
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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