Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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