Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
