I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
