I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
