Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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