I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i would punch a child for taco bell
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
