So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
