He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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