i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
