dude i'm inner monologue high
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
