She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
