I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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