yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
