It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
