well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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