North Korea, Best Korea!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
