the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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