You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
