I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
