your parents love me but you hate me
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
