where does the pee come out of this thing
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Please don't give away my fajitas
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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