real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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