Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
