alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
