Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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