Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We are all done wearing pants today
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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