I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
