look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
