vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
