A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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