Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
