We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
