it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
